Monday, July 14, 2014

The Test

31. Do brave stuff. Like talk about art. :P Or be a HackMaster GM.

I had to take a test to be a HackMaster GM. It was kind of a joke, maybe. I mean, I didn't have to, really, but the people around me said I did. I always do what I'm told (not so much anymore, but I'm pretty bad about it). And the other HM4 GMs had taken the test. Face even gave me a lecture about looking at the Hacklopedia before I took it. Since I was really gullible, I was guilty and tried not to look at the books until I logged on to the HMA site and took the test.

Now I wouldn't fall for that, but back then I was actually scared I'd fail. There was some rule about how you could only switch HMA branches from Player to GM once. But I couldn't study because I was forbidden to look at the books.

This may have something to do with why I love HM5. There isn't anyone out there setting obstacles in front of potential Game Masters anymore. The challenges should be in learning how to be a better GM, not worrying about being worthy of even trying.

I took all of the books with me to the test because I at least figured out it was multiple choice and not timed. And felt like crap because I didn't have all of the rules memorized like the "real" GMs.  I was actually relieved when I passed as if it was the equivalent of a math final.

That was before I realized it is a game and meant to be fun. I literally had problems with that. This is on the list of things I learned from HackMaster because seriously, whatever anyone tells you about their expertise or experience or specialness, it's okay to play. Knowing all of the rules, or how to map, or forgetting shield hits, none of that is really important. I went from wanting to be a GM that knew all the rules to...wanting to be the kind of person people want to game with.

I'd rather hear how I forgot to ask for a counter attack than that I'm too difficult to play with.

32. Plays well with others.

It hit me hard one day that all I wanted was to be welcome. In other words, desperately trying to memorize all the rules, fear of failure, getting a 100% on a pretend test...are easy ways to get sidetracked from what really matters. I was working on the wrong things. Once I got that, I literally stopped freaking out before games. Trust me, this fixes everything when the self doubt kicks in.

Also why I grab a beer before the game and play with friends rather than forcing a group into existence. Do this for fun, not accolades. I just want to be the kind of person people want to play with.

I'm not there yet. I'm still selfish and unprepared: I need to roll up a PC... ;)