Monday, September 09, 2013

Maybe I ran my last game...

last night...

My new job comes with more money and responsibility...and less HackMaster.

I hope that isn't the case, but I'm like this. I go with the worst-case scenario. I get mocked for "worrying too much," but none of the people who say that know what it's like to be me.

Anyway. I don't know if last night's game was my last as GM or player. I'll have to work most Sunday nights. That's just how it is. Otherwise, nothing will get better. It's hard to think about. The HackMaster group is the thing that makes me good at other things. If I give it up, I won't be creative anymore. I won't have that time with friends anymore. So I hope I don't have to give up. 

There have to be other ways to play.

I have this blog.

Maybe I'll be welcome in an online group someday without guilt.

I can always do HackMaster fortunes. I make these at Toastmasters meetings. We meet at a Chinese restaurant. Now everyone piles fortunes in front of me while I'm eating. I add words to make them into HackMaster fortunes and post them on Facebook or G+ or both. I'd put them on the forums, but I have a terrible mod secret: I can't post pictures. When I follow the directions, it doesn't work for me. 

I can submit adventures. KoDT 199 is something I love. I submitted this little adventure to a contest they held this spring. It barely met the word count. I'm so terrible at making maps that I didn't draw one. I turned it in at the last possible minute, totally cringing as I hit "send." My first attempt at a written adventure seemed weak compared to what I knew others could do. 

They gave me second place. And they took my little adventure and made it amazing, wrote up the non-player characters and my magic item. So almost all the HackMaster stuff in KoDT 199 is based around my little adventure.

I didn't talk about it much and I hope that Jolly doesn't think I didn't appreciate it. It's just that I've been through something this year that made me afraid to be happy about it, terrified that if I was happy that really meant I was self-important. But I really love it. Now I'm a little braver. I think I could send him something else. Thank you, Jolly.

Maybe I can make a comic or a cartoon.

Or something with dice.

I don't know. This whole blog is about being a GM, not rules or tactics. What do I blog about when I'm not a GM anymore? That's the question.